


Given Up

by Samaelcholo



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, Multi, One Shot, References to Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Voodoo doll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26557771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samaelcholo/pseuds/Samaelcholo
Summary: In the privacy of his own home, Alastor finds himself thinking about the hotel.
Relationships: Charlie Magne/Vaggie
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	Given Up

He twisted the voodoo doll around in his hands, turning in over and narrowing his eyes at it. On its arm, a small string hung loose, dangling as he turned it. He gripped the little string and pulled, cleanly ripping it off the doll in one swift motion. 

In the privacy of his own home he let his smile fall to just a thin line.

The doll wasn’t of anyone in particular, a blank canvas. He crossed his leg over his knee and sighed, resting his chin in his hands as he pondered. 

Things were getting awfully boring. Of course, he had the hotel, and that was all good fun, but recently the few demons that had come to give redemption a try had been making great advancements, and seeing sinners _succeed_ wasn’t any fun. No one had been redeemed yet, but no one had fallen from their tower of progress yet either, and waiting was like pulling teeth.  
He reached up and ran his clawed hands through his hair with a groan, dropping the doll to his lap. 

There were _options_. 

He _could_ make this doll of someone at the hotel. He already had voodoo dolls of husker and Nifty, but he never did anything with them. After husk has found them he yelled at him and stopped talking to him for a month, so he decided to leave them be. he chuckled at the memory.  
It wasn’t that he was afraid, or that he valued them highly, it’s just that he wasn’t really in a spot to be losing- dare he say- _friends_. He would never admit that it had been... _lonely_... of course, he had Rosie and mimzy, and they were wonderful darlings and such a joy to go out with, but the women had there own things to do, both owning separate businesses, so yes. He was feeling a little rejected, but husker and niffty helped with that. Nifty was a little ball of sunshine and made him smile, and husker was very tolerant and a good person to talk to. 

He was brutal sometimes too, but Alastor could understand that. He wasn’t the easiest to handle. Which is why he didn’t have many friends, which is why he’d been feeling isolated. Which is why he’d been doing things irrationally.  
He did not go to the hotel because he was lonely! What nonsense.. he was _bored_ , that’s what happens when your lonely sometimes..

Charlie was a doll, such a joy. And Vaggie.. well, no. Vaggie hated him. He was a little disappointed by that. He’d wanted to get to know her better, but it didn’t seem like that was going to happen. Angel was concerning, but interesting, and he seemed like he held a lot more emotion then what his outside persona entailed. Definitely someone that would provide great entertainment in the future. 

He really didn’t see the fun in making any voodoo dolls with the staff, as he found himself so intrigued with them. It’d only been a few weeks, but being with them quenched his boredom a little bit each day. 

Charlie was very concerned for some odd reason. Alastor hadn’t noticed he’d been acting strangely, not until she had pointed it out. 

She suggested he take a break. 

Ha! Absolutely _not_. He did not need a _break_ , he was fine. Sure, things had been a little hectic, and there was a _lot_ more paperwork then he was expecting- but it was easy enough. 

He’d fallen asleep at his desk a few times, and awoken to a blanket covering him. He’d locked his doors the next day, not wanting to be seen in such a vulnerable state again- ( _and he always woke up feeling deathly embarrassed by the prospect of anyone covering him up_ ) -but the next day he’d woken up in his _bed_ , covered up again. He never asked who had taken his to his bed, even though he was sure he’d fallen asleep at his desk, and he was still in his day clothes, only his coat being removed. Charlie would ask him if he’d gotten enough sleep, that’s how he would know it was her. That was the day he started sleeping at his tower and coming in the next morning. It was also the week that Charlie started her strict caffeine intake rule. Only two cups a day, no more than that. _Unacceptable_. He’d voiced his disdain but Charlie wouldn’t back down, so he’d given up.

He’d found sleeping at his tower was much harder then at the hotel that week as well- Which was odd. Before that he’d slept just fine. 

Some nights he’d sleep at husk’s house, for reasons he’d not explain. He’d show up in the middle of the night and wake the grumpy cat up to talk. Those talks never lasted long, so, he’d given up. 

Now that husker slept at the hotel in his own room Alastor found talking with the cat privately in the middle of the night was harder to initiate. So he’d given up. 

He’d wake up late, still tired, and he’d have to make up an excuse as to why he hadn’t shown up that day. Vaggie was always suspicious, but she never trusted him when he told the pair anything, so as for the excuses-

He’d given up. 

He would sit at his desk fighting sleep and Charlie would walk in, take the paperwork away and tell him to get some sleep, but he never did. He’d sneak coffee throughout the day and converse with husk, even Angel sometimes. He’d found that talking with the spider wasn’t as bad when he wasn’t trying to take an advance on him. 

It was especially decent to chat with the tall arachnid when husker was mad at him. He’d laugh when the cat told him to shut up or go away, to leave him alone, to screw off, but Angel was there to talk to him when that happened.

It was odd. Whenever husk would shout at him Angel would immediately grab his attention, forcing him away. And he’d listen. He’d sit and talk with him until the buzzing feeling deep in his chest that made the static tin in his voice fizzle and shake went away. That was kind, because before he’d met Angel he’d always had to deal with that buzzy feeling alone. He didn’t fancy being alone. 

He’d...

_Not_.. given up. 

Not on that. 

  
  


Sometimes he would cry. 

But not at the hotel. That was only for when he was alone. Of course, he couldn’t always catch it in time, and he would show such an awful emotion in public. It’d happened a few times, but he’d managed to shake it off right as it happened. He’d wipe his face and crack a joke, a wide splitting grin on his face. 

Why did doing that hurt?

Charlie has cornered him one night after a particularly hostile meeting with her and Vaggie. Why was the moth so fierce? It made him laugh. 

Not the normal kind of laugh. More strained. A laugh that hurt his throat. 

Oh no. He was crying in the meeting. What joy. 

It only lasted a second but that was enough time for both women to see. 

He hated that he’d ran. 

That was only a week ago. 

They never brought it back up, and for that he was glad, but the memory made him cringe. If only he’d gotten a better hold of his emotions, things like that wouldn’t happen so often.

Charlie has told him to get more sleep. 

So he slept in his room. 

He woke up the next day and no one called him for a meeting, no paperwork waiting at his door, not even Charlie asking him a question. He’d appreciated that too, but he felt a little...

**~~_ Rejected  _ ~~ **

**~~_ Unwanted _ ~~ **

**~~_ Abandoned  _ ~~ **

**~~_ Unneeded _ ~~ **

despondent. 

He’d given up. 

  
  


He opened his eyes, unaware that he’d even closed them and stood up, knocking the voodoo doll off his lap. 

He was tired. 

Very tired. 

He snapped his fingers and teleported to the front of the hotel, remembering to smile wide before entering. 

“Al! Welcome back!”  Charlie greeted, walking up to him. She held a stack of papers that he knew was for him, but she smiled kindly and set them at the bar. 

“You shouldn’t wait so long to get some sleep. Have you eaten?”

Kind. So kind. 

Who else had been as kind to him as Charlie? His mother, maybe. He didn’t deserve the kindness, the worry, the sincerity or the thought. 

Funny that Charlie seemed to insist that he did, and he couldn’t understand why. 

“I’m fine, thank you though.”

She stopped him, grabbing his arm and pulling his back just as he’d taken a step towards the stairs. He closed his eyes. She spoke just above a whisper, concern lacing her tone. 

“I’m worried about you.”

Oh no. 

When he opened his eyes they weren’t in the lobby anymore, but in Charlie’s office. The lights were off, the only thing illuminating the room was the soft red glow off his glossy eyes. Charlie hugged him from behind, her arms wrapping tightly around his middle. He sighed shakily, not speaking into the quiet room. The only sound bouncing off the walls was the radio feedback emitting from himself and his soft sniffles and shaking breaths. After a while Charlie spoke again, making his smile fall, curling in on himself. 

“Don’t give up.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for typos


End file.
